Friday, November 21, 2008

We all start out as infants in this world, depending on someone to nurture, love, and take care of us. We go through the discovery of everything being new, fresh, and exciting. Then the adolescent years come upon us and, as we become young adults, we learn different kinds of lessons about life from the people around us. Next, some of us go onto school while others find love, marry, and have children. Then there are those who find a career. Time goes on and we get older, as do our mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters.
One day you look in the mirror and your are twenty-years old. The next time you notice, you're thirty, forty, and the years march by. You can't figure out where the time has gone. We've all been busy with our lives doing such different things; how-ever, there's one thing we all have in common. Our parents are getting older. One day we may find ourselves expected to take care of them.
We know that, as we get older, we may lose our memory, sight, and hearing. But nothing can prepare us for what happens when our loved one's dementia turns into Alzheimer's. The caretaker inevitably feels lost and alone. Our loved ones are not themselves anymore--at least not the way we remember them. They don't know who we are and they don't know where they are.
Some of us listen to what the doctor says and put them in a the hands of professionals in a care center for the elderly. But some of us take on the challenge of caring directly for out parents, just as they once took care of us. We're not sue what in on the road ahead, but we know that we love our parents and want only the best for them.
This is such a tale--a story of a tough love. I have worked in nursing homes, and in the Emergency Medical System (EMS) taking the elderly back and forth between hospitals. and nursing homes. When it was discovered that my father-in-law was not himself and his mental health was deteriorating, my sister-in-law found she could not longer care for him.
My husband and I discussed the situation and decided that we owed it to this great man, who taught us so much throughout our lives, to care for him in his time of need.
It was hard to deal with the man he had become. We had to remember that he is now a victim of the disease--that this person was no longer really him anymore. It was a greater challenge than we could have imagined, caring for him to his dying day; but it was also rewarding.
I wanted to write and share this journal in the hope that it might help others who are taking care of, or considering caring for, their aging parents. I wanted them to know that they are not alone. Don't feel that you've failed when you're aggravated, depressed, or angry. These emotions only show that you are human. Caretakers should value those days when they are blessed with the wonderful things their loved one do. Caretakers must always remember the person they knew before the disease began to take its toll.
If you are just starting out, maybe this book will give you a better idea of what to expect.
I have found that running and enjoying a daily walk with God helped me get through terrible days and made them turn around. I hope you enjoy this book and that, in some way, it helps you face and better analyze the difficult decisions ahead.

Sincerely,
Marie Fostino
Alzheimer's A Caretakers Journal
Seaboard Press, An Imprint of James J. Rock & Co., Pub.
www.mariefostino.com

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