ALZHEIMER'S BLOG:

Has this disease changed you as a person?

Reading my book, I checked out October 23,2002. I wrote:

Hey, this is just a venting note. Sometimes it is not easy taking care of someone with Alzheimer's. Today I started out by getting up at 5 a.m. and running a couple of miles with Gina, my 15-year-old daughter. I got Dad up and dressed and gave him his coffee. Then we started our trip to pick up the people we were spending the day with. I picked up my 80 yr old Aunt who doesn't know anyone and is lonely while her 80 yr old husband is busy working because he won't retire. Drove to Joliet, about 35 miles away, with Dad telling me how to drive because he was a truck driver all his life and I'm not going the right way. I picked up my other two aunts, ages 80 and 90, and waited for a couple of young people to show up, ages 60 and 43.

We went to the nursing home first, before lunch, to visit another aunt. Then we went to the restaurant, where my sister-in-law took over and ordered for my father-in-law. That hurt my feelings since I am Dad's main caretaker and I only work 36 hours a week now.

On the way home Dad complained that I was taking the long way home and again, declared that I don't know where I am going.

When we get back, he tells me that his daughter lives with him but I can come in for a while if I'd like. Later I find him out in the garage without a coat on, complaining because the boxes are cluttering up the place and he has to fix it. Right now. I try to explain to him Jimmy is in the middle of cleaning out the garage but Dad is snapping at me.

I'm not complaining, just venting. I will go running in a few minutes and I will feel better.

But this is a part of the disease that is so hard. He doesn't know who we are or what we are doing. He doesn't understand that you are doing for him because you want to and because you love him.

It is a lot harder on Jimmy because this is his father. But when Dad snaps at me when I'm trying to help, I have to remind myself that he doesn't know what he is saying or doing. Please don't take this letter wrong. I LOVE WHAT I AM DOING!! It is just hard sometimes and today was just one of those days.

Hope you enjoyed this entry and understand a little more about this disease with the effects it has on you and your loved one.

Sincerely,
Marie Fostino
Alzheimer's A Caretakers Journal
Seaboard Press An Imprint Of James A Rock Pub., Co.
www.mariefostino.com